'There is a cost to choosing a different path. A smaller life than perhaps we first thought we wanted. But more than anything, what my brain and body were asking for is this: a life built around truth instead of performance'
What happens when you think you've ticked all the boxes but feel empty?
When midlife started creeping up, Laura Jane Williams had a rude awakening: despite the book deals, money. property, and success. the road she was on was not taking her where she wanted to be. She needed to pivot.
Words on How to Build a Life:
What does building a life mean?
Dismantling a lot of what you thought you wanted and daring to arrange things differently to how you might previously have considered. For me, 30-year old Laura designed a life and then built it, but by the time I was turning 40 it didn't fit any more.
It means having the courage to double back on yourself, to try scaling a different mountain, admitting you got it wrong and trying again.
It's not for the faint of heart. You have to get laser-focussed on what you really want and what really matters, versus what you've been told to want.
Is there anything specific you are pivoting away from?
Letting my ego run the show. It's the old, 'Do you really want it? Or do you just want people to see you have it?' I was a bestselling novelist signing six-figure book deals, but I wasn't happy. From the outside, that must have seemed ludicrous. Which is what I mean by having to be brave: people might think you're nuts to want to try on different versions of yourself or other lives, but fuck: what is the alternative? Stay stuck and unfulfilled because people might talk about you? I couldn't do that.
And towards?
Alignment over ambition, a quiet internal guide over what looks good on the outside. For me, that meant being a successful author... who also works in a high school for £23K a year.
Teenagers make me so happy. I needed to get out of my house, away from my laptop, and into my community to contribute. That feels amazing. It might look odd to others, but I feel happier than I ever have done.
What's the best advice you would give to someone to Build a Life?
Don't be afraid to change your mind. Future you doesn't exist yet, so it's crazy to try to imagine what she might want. Leave room to grow into life's surprises, and don't hold on so tight that you end up fighting against the current of your true self, or where life would prefer to take you.
